Santa's Naughty Helper
by Fia Reynne
Summary: A companion to How I Soar the missing scene from chapter 11 before Santa!Jayne makes his appearance. Rayne


**DISCLAIMER: Joss thunk them all up, I just play with them when I'm bored. **

"I ain't goin' out there," Jayne grumbled. "No way, no how."

"Please?" River asked, batting her eyes. "If you're good, later we can try my costume."

"That ain't fair."

"All's fair in love and war," River smiled. "You're going to make a little girl's Christmas."

Jayne sighed in resignation. "Li'l hellion what painted my face with lipstick," he muttered, eyeing the white beard and wig.

"She loves her Uncle Jayne and you know it." River smirked. "Come on, they're waiting."

Jayne made his kicked puppy face, and River sighed.

"Fine," she said. "Close your eyes and we can try my costume now. No looking," she warned him while she slipped out of her dress and into the sexy Santa's-elf lingerie. "Okay, now."

"Oh, baby doll," Jayne groaned. "That there is all kinds of naughty. Where on this gorram rock'd you get that?"

"Same place as the Santa suit," River replied. "You like it?" She stood on her tiptoes and twirled, causing the semi-transparent skirt - red, trimmed with faux fur - to swirl out around her.

"There ain't a lot to it, but what there is I like plenty," he smiled. "Though I like what there ain't a hell of a lot more. Are them garters?"

River nodded. "They were hard to figure out, and seeing that I'm a genius, that's really saying something about their faulty engineering."

Jayne laid back, taking in the sight of her.

"Well?" she said impatiently. "Aren't you going to open your Christmas present?"

"River, girl, Simon said I ain't supposed to -'

"Unwrap the gift," River told him, "and then let me do the work."

Jayne liked the sound of that a hell of a lot, and he showed his enthusiasm by pulling her toward the bed by her hand. "Do I gotta unwrap you all the way? 'Cause this little gauzy thing is real sexy, baby." He slipped his hands under the skirt and looped his thumbs through the sides of her panties, pulling them down slowly.

River moaned softly, feeling the drag of the satin down her thighs in every nerve of her body. Jayne dropped the panties at her feet and she obediently stepped out of them. "We have to get rid of this," she said, pulling off his beard and wig. "And those," she said, indicating his red velvety pants with faux fur trim, "And that." She pulled the pillow out from under his jacket. "There," she said, satisfied. "That should be sufficient." She climbed onto the bed, straddling him and making sure to be gentle where his wound was trying to heal. There'd be plenty of pain there later. She prepared to impale herself on him.

"Uh uh, baby," Jayne said, pulling her down for a kiss. "Let's take it nice and slow."

"They're waiting for us," River said practically. "There will be time to take things slow later on," she fibbed. She kissed his jaw, near his ear, and he let out a tiny whimper. She let out a warm breath in his ear before nibbling on the lobe ever-so-lightly.

"Gorram it, girl, you win," he groaned, arching up in search of her.

River guided his hardness into her body, and sighed happily at the feeling of wholeness. "It's been too long," she purred. "She's missed him."

River'd been being a lot better about referring to herself in the first person instead of the third, but Jayne still wasn't sure if she was referring to the two of them or their respective body parts. "He's missed her, too, xin gan," he whispered. He began to slowly thrust into her.

"No," she said sharply. "You'll hurt yourself. Let me." With that, she began flexing her thighs; a dancer's muscles were a thing of beauty, Jayne thought to himself as she rose above him and lowered herself again, over and over. Jayne felt that familiar buzzing in his head, felt all coherent thought - not that he had much to begin with, half-crazed with lust as he was - slip away with the ebb and tide of his building orgasm.

"Oh, darlin'," he moaned. "Where'd you learn this shit?"

"'Nara's books," she replied, leaving tiny pink mouth-marks on the flesh of his neck. "The cortex. Kaylee."

"'Mind me to get that girl a Christmas present," he grunted, trying to hold back his impending climax just a little longer. "Damn girl!" he shouted as he came. He frowned, disappointed with himself. "Baby girl," he said gently. "You didn't -"

"Time for that later," she smiled coyly, cleaning up the mess with the corner of the bedsheet. "Get back in costume. Hurry! They're waiting."


End file.
